This past week has been a challenging one for me. I’ve been struggling to balance various responsibilities and decisions, feeling overwhelmed with work and uncertain about my academic future. Looking back, I realize that better planning and decision-making could have prevented many of these challenges. I regret not being more mindful of the commitments I had made and not prioritizing my responsibilities more effectively.
On top of all of this, I set ambitious goals for my newsletter last week. I wanted to create a personal statement that I would be proud of and that would provide value to my readers. However, I couldn’t give it the attention it deserved amidst all the chaos.
But my regret doesn’t just stem from my lack of productivity or my newsletter. I also didn’t achieve the grades I wanted in some of my classes, despite putting in the effort. I know that if I had been more focused on studying, I could have done better. However, I am still struggling with uncertainty and indecisiveness in other areas of my life. I need to learn from these experiences and take proactive steps to avoid similar regrets in the future.
Despite the difficulties I’ve faced, I believe that there is something beautiful in our self-awareness and ability to reflect on past actions. Regret can be a powerful tool for personal growth and development. It allows us to learn from our mistakes and make better choices moving forward.
To that end, I listened to a lesson on the nature of regret by Kieran Setiya on the Waking Up app. Here are some of my personal takeaways (I would recommend listening anyways. The link is attached below):
- Life is unpredictable, and we can only control our direction to a certain extent. But there will always be factors beyond our control that can impact our choices and outcomes. It is up to us to make the most out of it.
- Our sense of self is not only influenced by our own existence, but also by our projects, relationships, and other aspects. It’s important to discern what is valuable from what is not and to reflect on our motivations and explore the reasons behind our affirmations.
- We must also remember that our judgments about life are subjective, and what makes one person happy may not have the same effect on another. Therefore, it’s crucial to avoid dwelling on regret over past decisions and uncertainty about alternate outcomes, without thinking about the specifics.
- We should focus on the details of our lives and embrace them, recognizing that not every wound can heal. By doing so, we can learn from our mistakes and take proactive steps toward personal growth and development.
Moreover, a core principle that I developed a year ago, as I was experiencing similar regrets was that the ultimate nature of regret comes from those opportunities that aligned with our principles, that we experienced poorly as a consequence of not being in tune with them.
To me, the power of regret comes from the fact that it is a mechanism that appears when we are our behavior or decisions are not in tune with who we are. In the future, I want to delve deeper into the concept of principles. Ever since I learned about it, it has played a defining role in my life, I believe it is a tool that not many people use, but has an immense impact on the effectiveness of those who use it.
I have noticed that my increase in regret has come from the fact that I haven’t structured myself as much as I should, and I haven’t properly developed the principles and the framework to incorporate my daily and weekly plans consistently. Therefore, my challenge for this week will be following the plan I have set in motion.
As we close out this newsletter, I want to ask you a couple of questions. Do you have any regrets, and if so, what are you doing to deal with them? How do you structure your days? Let’s continue this conversation and help each other grow.
Sources:
- Facing Regret — from the Waking Up app. Click here to listen now.
- An additional quote from the lesson:
“Ultimately, what saves us from regret is the amplitude of life. We must be careful where we choose to train our attention and not weigh alternatives without being specific. We must acknowledge the asymmetry of knowledge and be wary of the lies we tell ourselves. While ignorance may be bliss, it is folly to pretend that we know more than we do.”
Hector Mur Lopez 